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Elizabeth awoke the next morning to the same thoughts and
meditations which had at length closed her eyes. She could not yet recover
from the surprise of what had happened; it was impossible to think of any
thing else, and, totally indisposed for employment, she resolved soon after
breakfast to indulge herself in air and exercise. She was proceeding directly
to her favourite walk, when the recollection of Mr. Darcy's sometimes coming
there stopped her, and instead of entering the park, she turned up the lane
which led her farther from the turnpike road. The park paling was still the
boundary on one side, and she soon passed one of the gates into the ground.
After walking two or three times along that part of the lane, she was
tempted, by the pleasantness of the morning, to stop at the gates and look
into the park. The five weeks which she had now passed in Kent had made a
great difference in the country, and every day was adding to the verdure of
the early trees. She was on the point of continuing her walk, when she caught
a glimpse of a gentleman within the sort of grove which edged the park; he was
moving that way; and fearful of its being Mr. Darcy, she was directly
retreating. But the person who advanced was now near enough to see her, and
stepping forward with eagerness, pronounced her name. She had turned away, but
on hearing herself called, though in a voice which proved it to be Mr. Darcy,
she moved again towards the gate. He had by that time reached it also, and
holding out a letter, which she instinctively took, said with a look of
haughty composure, "I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of
meeting you. Will you do me the honour of reading that letter?"—And then, with
a slight bow, turned again into the plantation, and was soon out of sight.
With no expectation of pleasure, but with the strongest curiosity,
Elizabeth opened the letter, and, to her still increasing wonder, perceived an
envelope containing two sheets of letter paper, written quite through, in a
very close hand.—The envelope itself was likewise full.—Pursuing her way along
the lane, she then began it. It was dated from Rosings, at eight o'clock in
the morning, and was as follows:
"Be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the
apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or
renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you. I write
without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on
wishes, which, for the happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten; and
the effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion
should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written and
read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your
attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand
it of your justice.
Two offences of a very different nature, and by no means of equal
magnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The first mentioned was, that,
regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley from your
sister;—and the other, that I had, in defiance of various claims, in
defiance of honour and humanity, ruined the immediate prosperity, and
blasted the prospects of Mr. Wickham.—Wilfully and wantonly to have thrown
off the companion of my youth, the acknowledged favourite of my father, a
young man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage, and
who had been brought up to expect its exertion, would be a depravity to
which the separation of two young persons, whose affection could be the
growth of only a few weeks, could bear no comparison.—But from the severity
of that blame which was last night so liberally bestowed, respecting each
circumstance, I shall hope to be in future secured, when the following
account of my actions and their motives has been read.—If, in the
explanation of them which is due to myself, I am under the necessity of
relating feelings which may be offensive to your's, I can only say that I am
sorry.—The necessity must be obeyed—and farther apology would be absurd.—I
had not been long in Hertfordshire, before I saw, in common with others,
that Bingley preferred your eldest sister to any other young woman in the
country.—But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I
had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment.—I had often seen
him in love before.—At that ball, while I had the honour of dancing with
you, I was first made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas's accidental
information, that Bingley's attentions to your sister had given rise to a
general expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a certain event, of
which the time alone could be undecided. From that moment I observed my
friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his
partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your
sister I also watched.—Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and
engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained
convinced from the evening's scrutiny, that though she received his
attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of
sentiment.—If you have not been mistaken here, I must have
been in an error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the
latter probable.—If it be so, if I have been misled by such error, to
inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been unreasonable. But I shall
not scruple to assert that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air
was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that,
however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily
touched.—That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain,—but I
will venture to say that my investigations and decisions are not usually
influenced by my hopes or fears.—I did not believe her to be indifferent
because I wished it;—I believed it on impartial conviction, as truly as I
wished it in reason.—My objections to the marriage were not merely those
which I last night acknowledged to have required the utmost force of passion
to put aside in my own case; the want of connection could not be so great an
evil to my friend as to me.—But there were other causes of
repugnance;—causes which, though still existing, and existing to an equal
degree in both instances, I had myself endeavoured to forget, because they
were not immediately before me.—These causes must be stated, though
briefly.—The situation of your mother's family, though objectionable, was
nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety so frequently, so
almost uniformly, betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and
occasionally even by your father.—Pardon me.—It pains me to offend you. But
amidst your concern for the defects of your nearest relations, and your
displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you consolation to
consider that to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the
like censure is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your eldest
sister, than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both.—I will
only say farther that, from what passed that evening, my opinion of all
parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened, which could have led
me before to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy
connection.—He left Netherfield for London, on the day following, as you, I
am certain, remember, with the design of soon returning. —
The part which I acted is now to be explained.—His sisters' uneasiness
had been equally excited with my own; our coincidence of feeling was soon
discovered; and, alike sensible that no time was to be lost in detaching
their brother, we shortly resolved on joining him directly in London.—We
accordingly went—and there I readily engaged in the office of pointing out
to my friend, the certain evils of such a choice.—I described, and enforced
them earnestly.—But, however this remonstrance might have staggered or
delayed his determination, I do not suppose that it would ultimately have
prevented the marriage, had it not been seconded by the assurance, which I
hesitated not in giving, of your sister's indifference. He had before
believed her to return his affection with sincere, if not with equal,
regard.—But Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence on
my judgment than on his own.—To convince him, therefore, that he had
deceived himself, was no very difficult point. To persuade him against
returning into Hertfordshire, when that conviction had been given, was
scarcely the work of a moment.—I cannot blame myself for having done thus
much. There is but one part of my conduct in the whole affair, on which I do
not reflect with satisfaction; it is that I condescended to adopt the
measures of art so far as to conceal from him your sister's being in town. I
knew it myself, as it was known to Miss Bingley, but her brother is even yet
ignorant of it.—That they might have met without ill consequence is,
perhaps, probable;—but his regard did not appear to me enough extinguished
for him to see her without some danger.—Perhaps this concealment, this
disguise, was beneath me.—It is done, however, and it was done for the
best.—On this subject I have nothing more to say, no other apology to offer.
If I have wounded your sister's feelings, it was unknowingly done; and
though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear
insufficient, I have not yet learnt to condemn them. —
With respect to that other, more weighty accusation, of having injured
Mr. Wickham, I can only refute it by laying before you the whole of his
connection with my family. Of what he has particularly accused me, I
am ignorant; but of the truth of what I shall relate, I can summon more than
one witness of undoubted veracity. Mr. Wickham is the son of a very
respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley
estates; and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally
inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was
his god-son, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father
supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge;—most important
assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his
wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman's education. My father
was not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always
engaging; he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church
would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself,
it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very
different manner. The vicious propensities—the want of principle, which he
was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape
the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who
had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could
not have. Here again I shall give you pain—to what degree you only can tell.
But whatever may be the sentiments which Mr. Wickham has created, a
suspicion of their nature shall not prevent me from unfolding his real
character. It adds even another motive. My excellent father died about five
years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady, that
in his will he particularly recommended it to me to promote his advancement
in the best manner that his profession might allow, and, if he took orders,
desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became
vacant. There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did
not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events Mr. Wickham
wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he
hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more
immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment by which he could
not be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying the law, and
I must be aware that the interest of one thousand pounds would be a very
insufficient support therein. I rather wished than believed him to be
sincere; but, at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. I
knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman. The business was
therefore soon settled. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church,
were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and
accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us seemed
now dissolved. I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley, or admit
his society in town. In town, I believe, he chiefly lived, but his studying
the law was a mere pretence, and being now free from all restraint, his life
was a life of idleness and dissipation. For about three years I heard little
of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been
designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. His
circumstances, he assured me, and I had no difficulty in believing it, were
exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and was now
absolutely resolved on being ordained, if I would present him to the living
in question—of which he trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well
assured that I had no other person to provide for, and I could not have
forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame me for
refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of
it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his
circumstances—and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others,
as in his reproaches to myself. After this period, every appearance of
acquaintance was dropt. How he lived I know not. But last summer he was
again most painfully obtruded on my notice. I must now mention a
circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which no obligation
less than the present should induce me to unfold to any human being. Having
said thus much, I feel no doubt of your secrecy. My sister, who is more than
ten years my junior, was left to the guardianship of my mother's nephew,
Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself. About a year ago, she was taken from
school, and an establishment formed for her in London; and last summer she
went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate; and thither also went
Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior
acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most
unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid he so far recommended
himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression
of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself
in love, and to consent to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which
must be her excuse; and after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add that
I owed the knowledge of it to herself. I joined them unexpectedly a day or
two before the intended elopement; and then Georgiana, unable to support the
idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a
father, acknowledged the whole to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I
acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings prevented any public
exposure, but I wrote to Mr. Wickham, who left the place immediately, and
Mrs. Younge was of course removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham's chief
object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand
pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me
was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed.
This, madam, is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been
concerned together; and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you
will, I hope, acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Mr. Wickham. I know
not in what manner, under what form of falsehood, he has imposed on you; but
his success is not, perhaps, to be wondered at. Ignorant as you previously
were of every thing concerning either, detection could not be in your power,
and suspicion certainly not in your inclination. You may possibly wonder why
all this was not told you last night. But I was not then master enough of
myself to know what could or ought to be revealed. For the truth of every
thing here related, I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of
Colonel Fitzwilliam, who from our near relationship and constant intimacy,
and still more as one of the executors of my father's will, has been
unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions. If your
abhorrence of me should make my assertions valueless, you
cannot be prevented by the same cause from confiding in my cousin; and that
there may be the possibility of consulting him, I shall endeavour to find
some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the
morning. I will only add, God bless you.
Fitzwilliam Darcy."
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