Ambrose Bierce Quotes

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QUOTE COLLECTIONS OF Ambrose Bierce

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Quotes By author - Starting with A - Ambrose Bierce

There are 139 quotes for the author Ambrose Bierce

Quotations 101 to 120 of 139 Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
Subject: Sarcasm

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Subject: Miscellaneous

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
Subject: Philosophical

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur."

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog

Quotations 101 to 120 of 139
Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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