Dave Barry Quotes

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Quotes By author - Starting with D - Dave Barry

There are 93 quotes for the author Dave Barry

Quotations 61 to 80 of 93 Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5

UNIVAC: a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 tons; there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

For many years the National Pretend Speed Limit was fifty-five miles per hour, metric equivalent: 378 kilograms per hectare.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.

Quotations 61 to 80 of 93
Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5

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