David Letterman Quotes

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Quotes By author - Starting with D - David Letterman

There are 57 quotes for the author David Letterman

Quotations 1 to 20 of 57 Results Page: 1 2 3

Today is a big day in TV history. On this day forty-one years ago, the Beverly Hillbillies aired for the first time right here on CBS. They took a little break, then in 1992, they moved into the White House for eight years.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
Subject: Statistics

There is no off position on the genius switch.

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.

Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that will one day hate the United States.

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.

Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

Everyone has this sense of togetherness right now. For example, one guy on the subway today, he wanted to share my pants.

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

Quotations 1 to 20 of 57
Results Page: 1 2 3

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