Fran Lebowitz Quotes

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Quotes By author - Starting with F - Fran Lebowitz

There are 50 quotes for the author Fran Lebowitz

Quotations 1 to 20 of 50 Results Page: 1 2 3

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Subject: Mankind Drinking

My favorite animal is steak.
Subject: Food

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
Subject: Pets
Source:

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Subject: Humility
Source: Metropolitan Life, 1978

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Subject: Pets

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Subject: Food

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Subject: Teenager
Source: Social Studies (1981)

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Subject: Mathematics

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.
Subject: Miscellaneous

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
Subject: Miscellaneous

Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Quotations 1 to 20 of 50
Results Page: 1 2 3

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