Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

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QUOTE COLLECTIONS OF Rodney Dangerfield

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Quotes By author - Starting with R - Rodney Dangerfield

There are 57 quotes for the author Rodney Dangerfield

Quotations 21 to 40 of 57 Results Page: 1 2 3

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

Quotations 21 to 40 of 57
Results Page: 1 2 3

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