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Quotes By subject - Starting with H - Humor

There are 120 quotes for the subject Humor

Quotations 41 to 60 of 120 Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Author: Tom Clancy

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
Author: John F. Kennedy

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?
Author: Lisa Claymen

Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.
Author: Laurence J. Peter

Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.
Author: Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Author: Mark Twain

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy - "Dear Jack, Don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide."
Author: John F. Kennedy

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Author: Steven Wright

I don't consider myself bald, I'm just taller than my hair.
Author: Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Author: Steven Wright

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Author: Woody Allen

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
Author: Mark Twain

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Author: Fred Allen

In a museum in Havana there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."
Author: Mark Twain

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Author: Woody Allen

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Author: Unknown

Quotations 41 to 60 of 120
Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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