Humor - Quotes by subject

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Quotes By subject - Starting with H - Humor

There are 120 quotes for the subject Humor

Quotations 61 to 80 of 120 Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Author: Douglas Adams

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Author: Woody Allen

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Author: Unknown

I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
Author: Mark Twain

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Author: Steven Wright

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Author: Aristotle

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Author: Steven Wright

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city.
Author: George Burns

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Author: Woody Allen

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Author: Woody Allen

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Author: Woody Allen

I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.
Author: Oscar Wilde

Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson
Source: Letters and Social Aims

When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken.
Author: Unknown

Quotations 61 to 80 of 120
Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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