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Quotes By subject - Starting with H - Humor

There are 120 quotes for the subject Humor

Quotations 101 to 120 of 120 Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
Author: David Bissonnette

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong... It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happinesss is assured.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Quotations 101 to 120 of 120
Results Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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