Dick Cheney told reports that he has a n

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Home - Quote Authors - Jay leno


	"Dick Cheney told reports that he has a new outlook on life. He says the best part of waking up is... waking up! I guess the doctors don't even put stitches in Cheney's chest anymore - they now just use Velcro." - -- Jay leno

Top 5 quotes from Jay leno

"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded."
"According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White House. Well, second lowest. Dick Cheney got his down to zero a couple of times."
"Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm ready to move on."
"If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed, the governor calls, you think it's your reprieve, and you hear 'Hasta la vista, baby.'"
"A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father."

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