Erin: Planking is one of those things where, hey you either get it or you don't...and I don't, but I am so excited to be a part of it.
Darryl: Yeah I wanted the manager job, but I got something much better...this soda. This is mine.
Dwight: Pam, come on. Don't be such a right-sider.
Robert: Jim, your daughter Cecilia, what does she think of The Street?Jim: I...uhh...Robert: Sesame Street.
Robert: Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.
Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?Andy: Yes I do.Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?Andy: I don't care.
Andy: You think it has anything to do with the incentive program?Jim: Oh absolutely. People wanna see you tattoo your ass.
Andy: Let's ink my stink!
Robert: There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.
Andy: We're losing cloud cover.Kelly: Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.Darryl: Hey, hey...Vick did his time.
Jim: I mean I don't even know what I'd do with all that money.Dwight: I know what you'd do with all that money. "Hey Pam, let's buy expensive bathrobes and hug."
Kevin: Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job.
Jim: He talked her out of her own job and I don't know how someone does that.
Stanley: It might be easier if you take a deep breath, lift from the knees, and shove it up your butt!
Stanley: Well you take the first letter of each name, assign it a number, add 'em all up, and shove it up your butt!
Ryan: Not to point out the glaringly obvious, but doesn't the fact that I'm in this group make anyone feel just a little bit better?
Andy: Just to show you I'm being fair, you had Gabe in the losers column...I think that is astute. Good call.
Dwight (to Oscar): Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.
Andy: I guess you could say I'm in one of those ass tattoo incentive situations.
Andy: Ow, ow!Tattoo Artist: That was just the cotton swab.Andy: Invest in softer cotton, sir.
Kevin: I'm gonna get in my car. When I start dying I will honk the horn three times. That means save the dog.
Oscar: This guy's been gone long enough. He's lost his right to a window.
Pam: I think we should get a townhouse in SoHo.Ryan: SoHo's mostly lofts but okay.
Andy: You do have a fantastic basement.Darryl: I did. I did have a fantastic basement. Now it smells like tacos.